The Real "Incredible" Hulk

by

Robert Roy

      

FADE IN:

INT. BETTY'S LIVINGROOM - DAY

BETTY ROSS is seated in a chair opposite the television set watching intently.  From a room at the end of the hall behind her emerges BRUCE BANNER.  He looks at the front door as if he's thinking of sneaking past Betty but changes his mind.  He stops for a moment, composes himself and then begins to look agitated.  He begins to flex his muscles and clamps his jaw down firmly.  After a few seconds of this he begins to turn green, he grows immensely in size and his clothes begin to shred as he turns into the HULK.

HULK

Hulk smash!

BETTY

(nonchalantly, without looking up)

Uh huh, yeah right.  Hulk smash.

HULK

(slightly frustrated)

Hulk smash!

BETTY

Yeah, yeah, I heard you.  "Hulk smash."

Hulk lets out a low growl and approaches Betty's chair from behind.  Betty barely acknowledges him.

BETTY

Look, don't come in here all "Hulk smash" to me.

HULK

(Confused)

Hulk smash?

BETTY

You said, "Hulk smash" last time, didn't you.

HULK

(Defiantly)

Hulk smash!

Betty turns in her chair to face Hulk.

BETTY

But last time Hulk didn't smash, did Hulk?

HULK

(Angrily)

Hulk Smash!

BETTY

Don't you lie to me.

Hulk starts looking contrite, bowing his head and staring intently at his feet.

BETTY

That's better.  No, Hulk didn't smash last time.  And I'm guessing Hulk didn't smash this time, either.

Hulk looks like he's about to protest but then hangs his head again and shakes it "No."

BETTY

I didn't think so.  Look, sweetie, I don't really care if Hulk smash or Hulk not smash.  Hulk is going through a slump -- I get it.  But if Hulk is gonna keep coming in here and lying and saying, "Hulk smash" it's going to be impossible for me to believe anything Hulk says.

Hulk begins to look really sad and starts pouting.

BETTY

Do I have to tell you the story of the Hulk who cried smash again?

Hulk shakes his head, "No."

BETTY

OK.  No, you go do something.  I'm trying to watch my program.

As Betty returns her attention to the TV, Hulk starts slinking back down the hall, turning back into Bruce Banner as he does so.

BETTY

Oh, and if you're gonna Hulk out unnecessarily, try not to do it in your good clothes.  There's a good boy.

FADE OUT: